MEN: September is National Self-Improvement Month and I challenge all men to join me in taking time to improve ourselves in one way or another. I encourage you to participate in this month-long challenge to improve yourself at home, work, school and anywhere/ everywhere life takes you. Set some goals to help you on the path to allowing YOU to be the best version of you! Use #SelfImprovementMonth to post on social media. I'm here to encourage you, help you brainstorm, help you assess, provide feedback and ideas or whatever else you need. Let's DO this!
Excellent Opportunity for Men:
Want to grow as man? Interested in meeting new friends? Looking for camaraderie? Get connected! This is an excellent opportunity for men. Space is limited. Below are some key points of information surrounding this group.
The purpose of the group is to have a confidential place of connection to talk about whatever we are facing in life, provide encouragement, increase our circle of friends, build camaraderie, receive and provide feedback, support one another through struggles, celebrate victories, and help each other discover and experience purpose, personal growth, happiness and success.
Rules & Guidelines:
Although this is a very laid back group, some basic group rules and guidelines are in place to make everyone aware of standard expectations and ensure accountability:
Confidentiality is crucial. Please join online meetings in a space where others cannot overhear what is being said. Do not share things shared by the group with others. Treat information men share as 100% confidential.
Punctuality and regular attendance are important. If you are going to be late or unable to attend, call or text someone in the group so that we are not waiting and wondering.
Any man may 'pass'. If you are uncomfortable with a topic or do not want to share something personal, feel free to pass. If you change your mind later, feel free to share. It's ok.
Raise your hand to talk next.
Don’t talk over others. Wait for them to finish.
Avoid judgement in how you receive information and respond to others in the group.
Never tell another guy what to do. Avoid using the words “you should”, “you could” or “you would” and instead just share your own experience.
Out of respect for others in the group, don’t ramble. Keep your sharing concise.
It’s not okay to only show up to meetings when you have an issue to discuss. All of the men are in this group together. All want to share. All want support from the others.
The facilitator/ moderator leads the way. He can cut people off and will typically choose who speaks next if and when necessary.
100% FREE. There is no cost to participate in this group. None at all. I do not request or accept donations.
I am leading this group personally. I have more than 30 years experience speaking, training, coaching and facilitating. I am very laid back and welcoming in my approach to men's groups. Read more...
Let's Connect Today!
If you have any questions, concerns, or if there are any items that I may bring clarity to, please send me an email. Space is limited.
If you have any questions, concerns, or if there are any items that I may bring clarity to, please reach out to me directly.
You may have heard that a ‘guys weekend’ or even a ‘guys night’ can be disastrous. You may have heard stories of relationships torn apart by a weekend away with other guy friends. Let me say that not ALL ‘guys weekend’ or ‘guys night out’ activities are the same. In fact, more often than not, they are excellent and contribute to establishing and maintaining excellent relationships and overall health.
Here are 9 myths about 'guys weekend' and 'guys night' activities:
Every guys weekend or night out involves spontaneous, immature behavior.
Guys having a planned time together will surely involve excessive drunkenness.
'Real men' do not need or desire to attend this type of gathering.
In groups, men will gripe about their current relationship and talk about their sexual fantasies.
Men just want an excuse to get out of their family responsibilities.
When men socialize in groups they do not return home as scheduled--they are always late.
Nothing good can come out of a guys night or guys weekend.
Men do not need such bonding time together--that’s just for women.
Someone will get hurt.
I wish that I could say none of the above are ever true, but I cannot lie. Some men have gone before us and messed it all up. However, the above list is far from reality in the majority of situations.
Let’s look at this a tad more closely. This is a mini-blog so I’m not going to take a deep-dive but I do want to outline some level of detail.
What does a typical guys night out or guys weekend involve?
I’d be in a lot of trouble if I shared too much about what I have heard about some nights out as well as guys weekend away. Yes, I’m kidding, kinda-sorta. Honestly, what men do on a guys weekend or guys night out just might shock some of you men and your significant other. Usually it is calm but seldom boring, for sure--at least it shouldn’t be boring at all.
Obviously, it is up to each group of guys how the time is spent. When I say ‘group’, that could be a group of two, three, four, five or more.
Ideas for a guys night out:
Dinner at a sports bar to watch a game
Stadium sports event
Jog in the park with a cookout afterward
Boat ride enjoying the great outdoors
Bonfire in someone’s backyard
Truthfully, the sky's the limit. It also depends on the weather, the area in which you live, etc. The number of men going makes a difference as well. For clarity, this does not take the place of a regularly scheduled men's group for support, connection and camaraderie--this should be in addition to such.
Ideas for a guys weekend:
Camping (tenting is popular among men)
Lake house in the woods to enjoy nature’s calm
Prayer and worship
Again, the sky's the limit. The list above is just to get you thinking about the possibilities. Cost can be a splurge or almost free--that's up to the group.
Sometimes a few beers, etc. are a great way to relax. It’s ok. Enjoy it. Just don’t get drunk beyond all recognition. Typically, it takes the fun out of it and is what causes these 9 myths to be the stereotypical ‘truths’ about guys out in a group. Don’t overdo it men.
Do men really need this sort of getaway?
There are many excellent reasons why men need a guys night out or a guys weekend.
By nature, men don’t always communicate well, especially with other men. Often, men hold many things inside. They don’t always share honestly and transparently with each other. That’s ok, sometimes. However, it does a man good to have a solid discussion with another man or two or three or more. I wrote an article in June 2020 on this topic as it relates to men gathering together for support and connection, A Powerful Recipe: The Secret Sauce of Successful Men--check it out when you're done reading this post. Men need each other to sound off, let their hair down so-to-speak, be real, be heard, receive feedback, etc. While weekly men’s groups are great for all of this, they are typically no more than 60 to 90 minutes, maybe up to two hours weekly. A long night out or better yet a weekend together often helps the discussions go deeper and the facade takes a back seat.
While some men may not admit that they desire this type of thing on occasion, most men yearn for this type of outing. Most enjoy the break, enjoy the ability to connect with their friends and sometimes make new friends, and enjoy being able to have some deep conversations and share life experiences, frustrations, and accomplishments with other men, seek advice, hear truths, and see how other men are doing life.
Men, yes, I believe that you do need this on occasion. If you don’t think so, you may want to give it some more consideration. We typically do this well in our teen years. I did great at this through my mid-20’s. It was easy. When I got married and started a family, unfortunately, this sort of thing took a back seat. For me, that was problematic. I needed that connection. It took me a while to get it together, but I did. Now I’m in a different place in life. My wife and I are empty nester's. I’m looking toward retirement within the next couple of years, at most. Things have slowed down a little. I have more time. My advice, however, is: do not follow my example in this area. Do more. Make it a priority regardless of what phase of life you’re in from youth, college, career, mid-life, retirement, senior, etc.
Something as simple as what I've outlined herein can build and strengthen lifelong friendships. It can create a best friend, take a friendship to a new level, help a mentor/ mentee connection grow stronger, help a weekly men's group get to know one another a lot better, etc. Regardless whether this is for two or ten guys, it's worth it in every way imaginable.
More often than not, these activities allow men to receive advice and lessons learned from other men in these situations that truly helps them become better, a better husband, better dad, better friend, better community participant, better employee, better employer, and the list of possibilities goes on and on.
Ultimately, each man has to decide for himself what works well for him. I encourage each man to do so with a great level of discernment.
Suggestions to all who may be involved:
Spouses and significant others, let your man go on a guys night out or a guys weekend. It is healthy for him. It is equally healthy for the relationship with you in which he is committed. This can be huge for any marriage or dating situation. This is one way men grow. It is also a way that men relax and feel a little bit of life’s pressure lift off of their shoulders.
Teens and children, let Dad go for a quick time with other men. In the long run, you will reap the benefits of his time away. More than likely, Dad will become a better Dad even though he’s probably really, really awesome already!
Men, go out on the town with the guys or enjoy a guys weekend on occasion. Get away for a short amount of time with a purpose. Relax. Share. Enjoy. Open up. Be real with the guys. Be real with yourself. Bond. It will do you a lot of good. Don’t overdo it, men; come home on-time as promised. Be ready to spend some time with your family upon your return (if you have a spouse and or children).
Yes, not all guys weekend or night out activities are created equal. They are not all bad. Most are absolutely awesome!
Keep it real.
I strive daily to keep it real. I hope that you will as well. Have a great day, men!